A Mistake of the Heart
by daggerminx
Summary: This is a love story for Snape. Just an alternate ending type thing. Takes place before Sorcerers Stone and after Lily is killed, a few years after Snape starts teaching. I'm rather new so please comment if you can. I'm sorry it's so long.


**A Mistake of the Heart**

"Two replacements this year?" Professor Flitwick asked as he and two companions made their way to the Great Hall on the night of September first. "Of course I was aware of the Defense position but who…?"

"History of Magic," answered Professor Severus Snape with the air of one forced to make conversation. "Professor Binns seems to have made his peace over the summer. A Professor Guinevere Martin is taking over."

"Gwen?" Flitwick looked to his other companion, Minerva McGonagall.

"Yes," answered McGonagall knowingly, "Little Gwen Martin. Word is she's been spending a few years studying under historian Hubert Lemshan."

"She's young for the job…" Flitwick commented thoughtfully.

"True, but she was determined to have it even as a student. I believe she's only spent these last years away because of the age issue."

Snape, confused and a bit annoyed at being excluded, remained silent. After a few moments more discussion of this girl Minerva seemed to realize their rudeness. "I'm sorry Severus. She was a student here not long ago. You wouldn't have known her; she was a sixth year Griffindor when you started teaching and not continuing potions."

Snape nodded curtly. They'd reached the Great Hall. The students would be arriving within the hour. Walking purposefully toward the staff table, Snape studied the teachers, most of them familiar. He noticed—with little interest—the wizard who would be assuming the Defense Against the Dark Arts post. Then, near the end of the table, he found the new History of Magic professor.

His stomach twisted sickeningly. For a split second he didn't know why. Realizing the reason behind his involuntary reaction, he became dizzy and clenched his jaw against a scream threatening to rip from him. Hardly aware that he'd doubled his pace, Snape whipped his head around and stared, unseeing, straight ahead.

Three weeks into term McGonagall stopped by the new HoM Professor's office.

"Excuse me?" she said at the open door.

"Come in!" Answered a bright voice from within. Minerva stepped into what she initially mistook for a school pep rally. It was a standard, small, square office. But in contrast to Professor Binns' bare walls and grey atmosphere, Gwen's decorations were bursting with life. Each wall was hung with an enlarged house banner so that none of the stone and plaster was visible. Also on the walls were general decorations associated with that house. The Griffindor Wall was directly behind the large desk, decorated like the rest with a framed photograph of that year's house Quidditch team and other trinkets. Gwen was like a living contradiction, sitting in front of the scarlet and gold wall hangings dressed in emerald robes with silver trimmings.

"Guinevere?" Minerva was very obviously confused.

Gwen recognized the problem immediately. She grinned, stood, and twirled slowly so Minerva could see every angle of the outfit. "It's Thursday," Gwen explained brightly. "Slytherin day."

"Excuse me?"

"Monday's are Griffindor, Tuesdays' Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw is on Wednesday, Slytherin Thursday, and mixed colors every Friday."

"That's quiet a show of school spirit." McGonagall's tone was amused.

Gwen beamed in response, and indicating the two overstuffed black armchairs in front of her desk, said, "Won't you sit down Professor McGonagall?"

"Thank you Gwen," she replied, "And as we are now colleagues, I think a first name basis is acceptable." She sat in one of the chairs and it immediately turned scarlet. Rather than sit behind the desk as was perhaps orthodox, Gwen came round to take the other armchair—it adopted Griffindor's color as well.

"To be honest…Minerva…I think that may be a bit difficult for me. It wasn't that long ago you were my head of house."

"Not long ago at all. And I'm afraid to say the few years that have passed are much more evident on my face than yours."

"I admit that's been more of a curse than a blessing. I've already been mistaken for a student nearly a dozen times, even in my robes." Gwen was young, roughly mid twenties. But atop that, her face was younger than her years; she was comically short (five feet exactly); and unfailingly bright, betraying an eagerness for life that most professors had abandoned long ago.

"So," Gwen said presently, "to what do I owe the honor?"

"No particular occasion," Minerva said conversationally, "Just a curious teacher seeing how an old pupil's getting on."

"I'm having a splendid time! The students here are fantastic. Though…I have a feeling the older ones aren't as knowledgeable as they should be, even allowing for information leaks."

"Yes, well, Professor Binns wasn't exactly famed for his ability to…er…interest his audience."

"No matter," Gwen waved as though clearing the air of her predecessor, "We'll get them caught up."

"You seem to be adjusting well," Minerva praised, not quite disguising her pride, "Do you have any questions?"

For the first time, Gwen looked a bit uncomfortable. "I do have a question, but it's terribly nosy."

"Well, it can't hurt to ask. If you are overstepping bounds I'll simply tell you so."

Gwen nodded. "It concerns…a professor. Don't think me a gossiper; I'm not digging for dirt or…anything. I'm just a bit concerned. Professor Severus Snape seems very glum, even depressed, if that's not exaggerating. Is something wrong? Can I help somehow?"

Minerva sighed, "Unfortunately, Severus has lived a very…taxing life. Only Professor Dumbledore knows the whole story. It suffices to say there is a great deal of bitterness left as residue of past hardships." She'd been choosing her words carefully, not really looking at Gwen in her concentration. Now she refocused on the young woman's face and was touched to see real sympathy glowing in her eyes.

"Poor soul," Gwen sighed, "Too many hearts have been damaged by these times. I wonder…has anyone tried reaching through that bitterness?"

Minerva took a careful breath. She looked over Gwen's young, pale face from the glossy, dark red hair pulled up into a jaunty pony tail with bangs sweeping across her forehead and large, glittering green eyes radiating what was anciently known as "genuine brotherly love". "Severus Snape," she finally said in a flat voice, "was a death eater. He has convinced Dumbledore that he is no longer in You-Know-Who's service and though we all have our reservations, the Headmaster's certainty is quite enough for me."

"A death eater." It was not a question, but a horrified sigh. Gwen dropped her head and studied the threadwork in the arm of her chair. After a moment, her muscles seemed to tense and she looked up. Minerva was surprised to see not anger, not fear, but burning hope. "Well," she said, regaining some of her brightness, "He must have a will of iron and a heart of solid gold to return from that darkness."

Minerva blinked, and then looked harder at Gwen. In her eyes, behind that hope, was a steely determination. This young woman was dead set on believing the best of the worst, no matter how gruesome the worst may be. A rare trait. "Yes," she said slowly, "Yes he must."

"So, to give you an idea of challenges and worries faced during the Goblin Labor Strike, this class will be going on a homework strike." There was considerable murmuring at Gwen's announcement.

"Not to worry, I have spoken with your other professors; they've agreed to let us run the experiment for one week only. However, you may be required to stay after class and into the evenings this week in those classes in order to stay on top." The students moaned and complained at this news. "These sacrifices," she continued, raising her voice to be heard, "Are minimal compared to those dedicated to the Goblin Strike and I feel it critical that we have some project this term before the Holidays. Due by next Monday is one two foot roll of parchment relating your experience and comparing it to that of the Goblins' as described in Chapter 4 and a visual representation of some sort. Some of you may feel this assignment is not worth the possible trouble it will entail. Just like the Goblins, you will each have to decide whether the strike is worth your effort. Any who endure, however, and hand in an acceptable assessment will be exempt from any homework in this class for a month after Christmas Break." There was a considerable amount of excitement following this last announcement.

"Professor?" Asked Sarah Davies, a Ravenclaw, "What kind of visual representation?"

"That is entirely up to you." The Ravenclaws groaned, they hated vague instructions. The rest of the class seemed nervous and excited. Reminding them that it would be very imprudent of them to be rude to their cooperative professors that week, Gwen dismissed them a few minutes early.

She was sitting in her office working on a report for the Headmaster when she heard footsteps in the hall. Deciding not to look up in case they weren't coming in, Gwen continued scribbling in tiny writing. The person did come in, but as he did so he said, "Professor Martin?"

Gwen refused to look up. She'd had this conversation with this man before.

"Professor?"

"I don't answer to that name among my peers as you very well know," she said, still not meeting his eyes. "If you prefer it, I will of course address you as Professor Snape, please do me the courtesy of using my preference."

"Very well," he said in a strange, strained voice, "Gwen." The contempt was obvious in this last word, but Gwen effectively ignored it.

Putting her quill in the stand and looking up she smiled, "Why hello Professor Snape! Won't you please sit down?"

It seemed for a moment as though he were going to refuse, but then he strode quickly forward and sat woodenly in one of the black armchairs that changed instantly to green. Just as she had done with Minerva several weeks earlier, Gwen came around her desk to take the other chair, then withdrew a small, white wand and twirled it. The chairs turned to face each other.

Severus stared at her blue and bronze robes, took in the Hufflepuff wall behind her scarlet, repositioned chair, glanced quickly at her face and blinked hard.

"Are you all right?" Concern was heavy in Gwen's voice. She was sure the face before her had become even grimmer in the short time since he'd entered the room.

"No," he said coldly and with what appeared to be some effort. "What gives you the right," his voice was deathly quiet and poisonous, "to tell my students they needn't obey me?"

"Professor, if you'll remember, I discussed my plans for this project with everyone at the last staff meeting. The students know their teachers have every right to keep them after class and into the evenings since they will not do homework."

"Simply warning us that you will be usurping your position as a new teacher here does not mean I will condone it."

"Then perhaps," she replied, meeting his venomous black stare with a steely green one, "you should have mentioned that when I was detailing the project. Several teachers raised complaints, and compromises were reached with each of them. Silence," she finished, "is compliance."

He pretended she hadn't spoken. "Furthermore, this type of project is hurtful to the students."

"That worry was raised in the meeting, if you recall. I'll give you the same response I used then. The students in this school have endured extremely boring history lessons up to this point. If we as a school wish to raise the dismal O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. grades in this area I must be allowed to convince them that history is not just about lectures. And the homework strike is only being applied to third years during the first quarter, Professor Snape, specifically to avoid struggles for O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. students."

They continued the staring contest only a moment longer before Severus looked away. He took a deep breath as he did so, as though steadying himself. Gwen was instantly sorry. She'd been informed of this man's past, and could only imagine how difficult it was for him to live each day with what must be horrible memories. She regretted being sharp with him.

"However," she said in a much gentler tone, "Having been made aware that you are so adamantly opposed to the assignment, I'll scratch it from my lesson plans in future years. Thank you for voicing your frustrations."

Severus stood without another word and left. Gwen watched him go, once again impressed with the tale of his background, returned the chairs to their normal position, and continued her report.

"Enter," came a gentle voice from within.

Severus stepped quickly in to Dumbledore's office. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me Headmaster."

"My pleasure Severus. Please, sit." He did. "Now," Dumbledore said when he'd settled, "to what do I owe this privilege?"

Severus got right to the point, "You have to dismiss Professor Martin."

Dumbledore sat back, clearly surprised, "Surely you were planning to tell me why."

Severus bowed his head, and his voice was choked, "She—that professor—looks just like her!"

"Who?"

Severus looked up, his face tortured, "Lily! She looks just like Lily Evans. And acts like her…it's as though she's a demon sent to torment me."

"I seem to remember Lily Evans being tall."

"You know what I mean! Her face, her hair, her eyes…" His face became accusing as he studied Dumbledore, "Did you do this?" he whispered, "Did you do this to punish me for my crimes?"

Dumbledore's wizened face fell, "I would not do that to you Severus. You know I wouldn't. I confess, now that I think of it, the resemblance is astonishing. But I swear to you I did not see it when we met over the summer. I noticed nothing. I have to admit however, that even if I had, she still would have received the position. Guinevere Martin was, by far, the most qualified applicant I interviewed." He looked thoughtful for a moment, "Comparing the two, their similarities are striking. Appearance, obviously. Gwen is also Muggle born and has one jealous, contemptuous older sister. Most interesting," he mused.

"Stop!" Severus groaned. His face was in his hands now and his voice muffled, "You see? She must be dismissed."

"I'm afraid if you want an able, well-liked professor sacked, you'll have to come up with a better reason than she elicits painful memories of your own mistakes. However, since it is obvious your request is in earnest, I will call a small meeting. Myself, you, and a representative for Gwen. She needn't know yet of this controversy. I suggest if you don't want your real motives revealed, you find some passable reasons for wanting her dismissal."

"Yes, headmaster."

A week later found Severus and Minerva sitting before Dumbledore's desk. "I think we are all aware of the reason for this gathering," Dumbledore said in opening, "Severus feels that Professor Martin is unfit for her position as the History of Magic teacher. Minerva, I asked you to defend her worthiness because I believe, of the staff, you know her best?"

"Yes, I feel I do," Minerva said, her lips tight. "And may I just say I don't know why this meeting is necessary. Never in my life have I heard of a Hogwarts Professor lodging such a complaint against a colleague."

"Duly noted," Professor Dumbledore said into a stony silence. "Would you like to begin Severus?"

"Thank you, Headmaster. Professor Martin has demonstrated, through her recent assignment of a homework strike, a certain contempt for the rest of the staff and the opinion that herself and her subject should take precedence over other teachers and areas of study. In this way she has shown herself to be arrogant, uncooperative, and disdainful of her equals. I find this fault especially poignant when one considers her status as a first year teacher." Severus looked as though he were slightly displeased with this fabricated reasoning. Dumbledore looked openly disappointed in him.

Minerva glared at Severus. "Really? Disdainful of more experienced professors you say?" Snape would not acknowledge her. "Because I met with her privately a few weeks into term Severus. Feeling she had a right to know, I told her your past. What do you think she said when she learned of your service as a death eater?"

Severus' face had gone white and Dumbledore was leaning forward with unabashed interest.

"She said, and I quote, 'he must have a will of iron and a heart of gold to return'. Does that sound like anything resembling disdain, Severus? And furthermore," she continued, turning to look at Dumbledore, "I have never seen a professor more dedicated to the unity of this school. Her office is decorated in the four colors; she wears each color equally, cheers for the underdog quidditch team, and wears the colors of the losers the day after the match!" Her eyes were burning with rage and fiery indignation.

Without another word, his face twisted in defeat and anguish, Severus stood and left.

Heading purposefully back to his office from the catastrophic meeting, he heard Gwen's voice carrying though her open door.

"Owing both to the fact that there is quidditch tomorrow and that I happen to be aware of a particularly nasty assignment you've been given in Transfiguration, I've decided to shorten your essay on the Harpsburg Incident from three feet to one and a half."

There was grateful chatter at this announcement, and Severus was about to turn and go the other way in disgust when he heard his name. "You should give Snape a lesson or two in sympathy," said a boy's voice.

Almost unwittingly Snape took a step toward the open door to hear the reply.

"_Professor_ Snape is an experienced teacher and a master of his subject, Mr. Garth. And you'd do well to notice that the school's Potions scores have been far better than

those for History of Magic." Gwen's voice was cold steel directed at the boy's voice.

"That's only because Professor Binns…"

But the girl's voice was cut off. "I will not tolerate criticism of _any_ Hogwarts teachers in this class, past or present. From now on, anyone I hear disparaging one of my colleagues will have ten points taken from his or her house. A second offense will cost you twenty-five. Have I made myself clear?" Severus had never heard her speak so sharply. He imagined the intimidated heads of students nodding obediently. "And for the record," she finished in a cold, but softer tone, "I would gladly accept lessons on teaching strategy from Professor Snape, not the other way around."

Severus, remembering Lily Evans' determination that every one be given credit and treated fairly, gritted his teeth and returned to his office, choosing a different route than would take him by the open History of Magic door.

Gwen had not forgotten her meeting with Minerva. When she'd asked if anyone had reached out for Severus, it had been with the full intention of doing that herself. She was temporarily deterred by his constant attitude of bitter contempt for her on a personal level. But Gwen managed, over Christmas, to convince herself that she was overreacting to his gestures. _They're not personal_, she told herself, _he's just hurt and alone_.

She attached her mind firmly to this interpretation and prepared to begin Operation Open Arms directly following the post holidays faculty meeting. It was a dull meeting. They discussed continued safety procedures and the latest teaching techniques. They shared accounts of students proven to be efficient trouble makers and everyone seemed to have knowledge to impart to the first year professors on how to handle such nuisances.

Professor Snape kept his eyes locked on professor Dumbledore the entire time and swept out of the office the moment it ended. Gwen had to jog to catch up with him.

"Good day, Professor Snape," she said, taking two steps to his one.

He glanced down at her out of the corner of his eye, "Hello, Professor."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "I'm rather tired of repeating myself to you, _Severus._"

"My mistake Gwen," he said in a bored voice, "Can I help you in some way?"

"Well," she said, a little cowed by his obvious annoyance but unwilling to relent, "Actually, yes. I was hoping you could give me some advice." He was silent. "You see, my students tend to lose interest during the last part of class. It's really hurting their marks and I was wondering what you do to keep their attention."

It seemed for a moment as though he wasn't going to answer. But when it became apparent that Gwen was not going to disappear, he replied, "I find practical application keeps them on their toes. In your case, however, the subject matter isn't very conducive to that method." His words were a low, slow drawl, as though he were speaking to a dull child who probably wouldn't understand a word of what he said.

"That's true," Gwen agreed seriously, "But there must be some way to apply the information. They get very tired of essays I know…" she considered for a moment, and Severus hazarded a glance down while she wasn't paying attention. But once again he had to clench his jaw and fight back the rush of memories connected to that dark red hair.

SKIP A BIT

The late hours of one January evening found Professor Severus Snape prowling the second floor, looking for students out after curfew. Earlier, he'd thought he'd heard Professor Sprout ask Gwen if she would keep an eye out on that floor since Sprout had other matters to attend to, but Severus repeated to himself continuously that that had nothing to do with his decision to patrol this area. He'd almost convinced himself of it when he heard voices around the corner. One soprano woman's voice he didn't recognize and the other reduced to sobs. Though the voices didn't sound like those of students, he chose to investigate.

The sight that met his eyes disarmed and confused him. A tall, shapely blond woman with bright blue eyes stood in an open doorway. She was taunting the woman in front of her, who was kneeling on the stone floor and sobbing, her face buried in her small hands.

"…could ever love you? A witch? Is that what they call you at that asylum? You're insane, you ugly wretch. It's a good thing for you Mum and Dad had me first, or they would have died of shame at the sight of you. You're a nerd! You know that? Thinking you can ever get a man when all you do is pour over books and re-enact ancient history. I've read you're diary 'all I want is someone to love, who really loves me for me'. What rubbish. You'll die alone! And you'll go on with your world class performance as the 'togetherness girl', pretending you're content with you solitary existence!" The crazed woman went on and on. Severus recognized the crying woman as Gwen, shaking her head but unable to look at or reply to her tormentor. He approached cautiously, but the woman who claimed to be Gwen's sister took no notice of him. Finally he could see into the room behind the blond woman. It was a storage room, and inside was a desk with an open drawer. A boggart.

Clenching his teeth, Severus swept in front of Gwen as though shielding her. The woman stared at him for a moment, then transformed. Every boggart Severus had ever encountered since boyhood had been the same thing. A beautiful witch with ruby hair and green eyes lay on the ground at his feet. Dark splotches were seeping through her robes and fading eyes showed betrayal. "You've killed me Severus," the girl whispered in a strained voice. But this time it was different. They eyes that wrenched his heart from his chest were not Lily's, but Guinevere's.

Severus had not been prepared for this. He almost lost control and crumpled like Gwen, but suddenly gripped his wand very tightly and used it to send the boggart back into the storage room and shut the door. He never had been able to think of anything to make that scene remotely comical.

Turning, he stiffly helped Gwen to her feet. She had stopped crying, but her head had remained in her hands. She hadn't seen his greatest fear. She dried her eyes bashfully.

"Sorry you had to see that. I thought I heard someone in there, wasn't ready," She said, her voice steady and strong; the alto counterbalance to the other woman's voice. "My sister, Patricia," she said by way of explanation, half smiling, "The—uh—beauty of the family." Severus nodded, but did not say what he wanted to. After a moment of just standing there, recovering, Gwen took a deep breath and let it out, then smiled warmly up at her rescuer.

"Thank you, Severus." She placed her fingertips lightly on his face and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. With an embarrassed smile, she headed off to her office. Severus stood there for a moment, completely frozen, then broke into a run in the direction of the Headmaster's office.

"Headmaster!" he gasped, wrenching open the door without ceremony.

Dumbledore looked up from his issue of _The Quibbler_, "Yes?"

"Can you perform a selective memory charm?" Severus demanded, sweeping up to the desk.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Can you erase Lily? From my memory? Take her completely away?" Severus Snape's eyes were burning.

Dumbledore closed the magazine, "I take it this means you've fallen in love with Guinevere?"

Severus looked down, "I have. But the pain…it's too hard…Headmaster, can you?"

Dumbledore stood up and came around the desk, putting a hand on the other man's arm, "It is not a matter of whether I can, but whether I will." Severus raised his head, his expression confused. "Severus, the beauty of love is in the sacrifices made for one another. Your experience with Lily Evans is a part of the man you've become, as is your time with Professor Martin. If I take that away, I take away the opportunity for you to prove your love for Guinevere. The question is, do you love Guinevere enough to release Lily yourself? If you do not, then you do not fully love Gwen and cannot ask for her love in return."

Severus was openly weeping now. After a few minutes of silence he said, "I can. I will. I love her."

Albus Dumbledore smiled, "I know you do. I've been waiting for some time for you to realize it. She's an incredible woman, Severus, I wish you every happiness."

Severus did not smile, but nodded, "Thank you Headmaster," and left.

Gwen's hands were shaking. What business did she have kissing a senior professor at this school? She tried to feel sorry for it, tried to be angry with herself as she marched back to her office. But was unsuccessful. Bitter and dismal as he was, she loved him. Something about him told her plainly that his true self was not the sarcasm and frowns. He'd even begun to show it more plainly in these last months. But still, even though he'd become civil with her lately, she still saw unrelenting pain in the depths of his fathomless eyes every time they met her own.

"Aren't we feeling generous today? Giving Snapey a wee kissy."

"Lay off Peeves," but there was no conviction in the order. Gwen had never minded the practical-joking poltergeist, but thought him generally amusing.

"I wouldn't be so nice to someone who wanted me sacked," he said slyly.

Gwen stopped, "What did you say?"

"I said," said Peeves, glad of a more attentive audience, "I wouldn't be so nice to Snapey if he'd gone to Dumbledore and asked for me to be fired."

"Are you saying?..." Peeves grinned and nodded. Then zoomed away. Gwen changed course, heading instead for Minerva's office. She'd nearly convinced herself of Peeves' dishonesty when she knocked on the office door. Minerva called for her to come in.

"Hello Minerva."

"Why, Hello, Gwen. Can I help you in some way?" She was sitting behind her large desk, obviously marking essays. Gwen stepped up, feeling very like a student as she stood before her former head of house. But that feeling passed quickly as she remembered her reason for visiting.

"Peeves has just said something very disturbing to me," she said quietly, "He's just told me that Professor Snape requested my dismissal."

Minerva looked uncomfortable. Gwen tensed. "Peeves is a trouble maker," the older woman stalled, "You know that."

Gwen nodded, "I do. That's why I wanted to check his information. Just tell me Professor, is he lying?"

Minerva hesitated, but that was all the answer Guinevere needed. She straightened her shoulders, nodded curtly, spun on her heel and stormed out. She found Severus Snape's door shut as usual.

She rapped sharply on the old wood, "Professor?"

"Come in," came the reply. Without further ado she flung open the heavy door and strode inside. He too, sat behind his desk. But he was not grading papers; he was wringing his hands as though trying to pull them off. He stopped when he saw the cold fury in her eyes. She was too angry to notice that his were red-rimmed from tears. Marching right up to his desk she placed her hands on it and leaned forward slightly as though to intimidate him.

"I'm not going to bother being angry that you did it. I just want to hear your reasons." He said nothing, but his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. "Why, Severus, did you feel the need to go to the Headmaster and request my dismissal? What crime did I commit against you or any student here?"

He blanched, "Who…?"

"Peeves, actually," she spat. Gwen didn't shout, but her voice pierced the air between them like razor sharp icicles. "And Professor McGonagall reluctantly confirmed it."

"But that was…"

"I don't care how long ago it was. Just tell me, my _friend_, when you spoke with Professor Dumbledore, what reasoning did you present in favor of my sacking?"

Terrified of telling her the truth, Snape groped for the arguments he'd used then. "The Goblin assignment, I felt, portrayed contempt for other teachers and undermined the importance of their own subjects."

She studied his eyes with a fierce intensity. Somehow he felt Occlumency could not save him in this inspection.

"Liar!" Gwen hissed. Whirling on the spot she fled the room.

"No," Severus begged under his breath. He was not thinking of Lily's fury over his use of the term "mudblood", for once he did not think of Lily at all. He though only of Gwen, and how she was slipping away from him now. Because of a lie. His life was built on lies…and he would have to sacrifice them to gain her. He did not even have to consider whether it would be worth it. Severus raced after his one chance to redeem his heart's gruesome mistake.

Gwen was halfway up the stairs when he reached the bottom.

"Wait!" he called. She turned. "You are right. I lied." She raised her eyebrows and took a step toward him. At first he couldn't wrench the words out of his mouth, but he saw her eyes hardening, and fear of losing her loosed his tongue. "I loved a woman. I loved her from childhood, but I made grave mistakes and drove her away from me. Even knowing she could never return my affection, I continued to love her with heartrending passion. Then, during my death eater years, I passed information to Voldemort which led him to believe that her family was an enemy to him."

"Her family? Not yours?"

"As I said, there was no hope of her returning my love, for she loved another. I begged Lord Voldemort to spare her, but he did not. I begged Dumbledore to protect her, pledged myself to his service eternally, but in the end she was found. My former master slaughtered her, killed her without a backward glance. And I was left with a tortured soul."

She had continued moving slowly down the stair case, and now stood only four stairs above him. He could read the question in her glistening emerald eyes.

"You look and act very like she did. When you first came, I thought you a devil sent to torment me for killing the only creature I could ever love. I begged the Headmaster to send you away; I doubt you can even comprehend the pain it caused me to look at you and be reminded so sharply of the woman I killed. But Dumbledore is a wiser man than I."

"Oh?" she was two steps above him and just barely above eye level.

"He has a theory. Though it does not moderate the severity of my crimes, he does not believe I was meant to love Lily. He believes that, because of the striking similarities between you two, my young heart mistook her for you."

Gwen's arched eyebrows drew together and she took one more step down. Now she stood on the first step, just an inch or two shorter than the man at the base of the staircase, and very close. Severus ignored his first impulse and refused to step back. "And what," she asked in a confidential whisper, "do you believe, Severus Snape?"

"I love you," was the simple, touching reply. Gwen studied him for a long while. It may have been hours, or days, or perhaps only a few very long minutes.

Finally, she raised her small hand, "I believe you," she murmured, tracing the line between his eyebrows. "Your face has endured too many pains, too much despair. But Severus," she lay her hand on his cheek and her eyes filled with uncertainty, "Are you sure it's me you love? Or, somewhere inside, have you decided I _am_ Lily? The closer you get to me, the more obvious it's going to become that we're not the same witch. What happens then?"

"If I cannot release Lily myself then I don't love you," he replied, more to himself than to Gwen. "But I know I can."

"How do you know," asked Gwen, "Especially since it still causes you pain to be near me?"

"I know," he said very slowly, concentrating exclusively on her eyes, "because there is more pain when you are gone. That would not be so if I still loved Lily Evans."

Very slowly, with not a little fear, Severus Snape gently kissed Guinevere Martin. Gwen put her other hand to his pale face, then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She could feel Severus' hands shaking as he placed them on her back. She pulled back and smiled, pressing her forehead to his, "Don't be afraid, Severus. I love you." She chuckled in a contented way, constricting her arms still tighter around him and kissing him quickly, "I'm all yours."

In response to her pledge, Severus Snape exhaled what seemed to be years of unreleased air. All of the stiffness of his usual character escaped him with that breath and he wrapped his arms securely around his greatest treasure. Gwen was vaguely aware that she was unable to breathe due to his relentless grip, and that her feet were no longer touching the ground. But she quite simply didn't care. Instead she focused on holding her own wondrous prize.

This embrace, even more than the preceding kiss, seemed to set the new found love in stone. Possibly this was due to Gwen's vocalizing her own feelings, or more likely, it was because Severus Snape, at her words, had finally freed himself of all the bitterness and hatred he'd felt. Surely his poisoned soul was not fully healed, but he had effectively given his consent for the cleansing to commence

A mistake it would be to believe Severus solved all of his problems that night, or that he'd managed to erase Lily in just that evening. It was May, very near the end of term when Professor Tribus—that year's D.A.D.A. teacher—lost his head, and nearly his life. He was a handsome man in his mid to late twenties and happened to have a pint too many in the Three Broomsticks on the last Hogsmeade visit of the year.

Gwen was wandering down a deserted side street, running her hand along the wall of the stone building, searching for traces of magic to give her a hint of the history in this, the oldest part of town. She turned at the sound of her slurred name.

"Why Guinevere Martin!" Professor Tribus was stumbling toward her.

"Hello Brent. Er…can I help you?"

"I think so," he said with a hiccup.

"Do you need help back to the castle?" she asked, stifling a laugh.

He slid an arm around her waist, "Sure. Let's take our time though, eh?" Gwen's eyes widened and she tried to twist out of his grasp, but that just made him wrap the other arm around her to prevent escape. "What's the matter?"

"Let go Brent, let go now," she demanded.

"First give us a kiss," he smiled, "And why not? Don't you know I've watched you ever since term started? Year's almost through you know, teachers can let loose now…" He moved one hand from her waist to her face and neck, stopping her from jerking her head away. His breath stunk of firewhiskey.

"No!" came a strangled cry from behind Gwen. Brent was blasted backward and ended up sitting in the dusty road, looking fully lucid for the first time. Severus Snape, murder in his black eyes, stepped in front of Gwen as though shielding her from the sitting man's intentions. "_She is mine_!"

As Severus stared at the perpetrator, he saw James Potter once more; stealing what should be rightfully his. Hatred burned like acid within him. He felt small hands on his back, grateful for his protection. But those hands weren't Lily's. Lily wouldn't have been grateful, because Lily was never his. Gwen already belonged to him. James transformed back into the new teacher, but Severus' fury became only more intense; this man had tried to take what was _truly_ his.

Gwen was too short to see Severus' wand angled down and the petrified teacher's heart. But she could hear when he began muttering words…words that could only be a curse.

"Severus!" she cried, moving out from behind him and throwing herself into a crouch in front of the soon-to-be-victim. "He's just drunk!" Severus' eyes softened immediately and the sight of her and his wand, which had been aimed directly at her, dropped from his hand as though poisoned.

Slowly, Gwen stood. She scooped up Severus wand and held it out to him. "You'll be wanting this I expect," she said very softly. Severus hesitated, black eyes flickering from the long wand to Gwen's face, then took his weapon.

Gwen smiled, forgiving him. She then took another step forward, close enough that he alone could hear her next words. "I know it's not in your nature, my love. But there are times when we must make allowances…when we must _not_ take revenge." She glanced disdainfully back at the now rising man and concluded, "Even when they deserve it." She turned to face Brent Tribus, her emerald eyes cold and hard as real gems. Severus put a hand on her shoulder, making sure the man made the connection. Instead of apologizing for Severus' actions, Gwen simply said, "I think you'd do well to remember that little incident. Next time, I might be slower."

Brent stared at the couple, both faces hard as granite. "You're all mad!" he cried, backing off and stumbling away. It appeared they would once again be in need of a new D.A.D.A. professor for the following term.

Gwen stood in the entrance hall, ushering students out the door, on the last day of term. "Off you go then! Yes, see you next year. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for your O.W.L. results Corbin. Is this yours dear? You dropped it," and so forth. She was about half way through this task and enjoying herself immensely when a glowing white shape caught her eye.

A raccoon patronus, identical to her own, was toddling toward her. It sat up at her feet and spoke with a voice she'd come to know as well as her own. "I've been in touch with the headmaster and reminded him of our appointment. We are to report to his office after the rest of the professors have begun their journeys."

"Thank you, Severus," she smiled at his formal message. The raccoon dropped to all fours and scurried away.

"Er...Professor Martin?" said a third year Hufflepuff girl, "You're blushing." Gwen looked away from Severus' revealing patronus and touched her heated cheeks.

Winking at the student she said, "And what business is it of yours? By the way, good work on that exam Jenny." Now it was Jenny's turn to blush and hurry out the door. Gwen saw to the rest of her task with a rather heightened impatience and an anxious enthusiasm. Students who noticed this demeanor and commented were rushed out the door without ceremony.

Finally she was saying her final goodbye: to Minerva. "I hope you won't mind me sounding like an old teacher," the mentor smiled, "but I am very proud of your work this year."

The compliment nearly brought tears to Gwen's young eyes. Impulsively, she embraced the older woman. "Thank you! I couldn't even have survived without you there every step of the way." Minerva held Gwen out at arms length and seemed to read something in her eyes.

"What's going on, Guinevere? What's different about you?" Gwen cursed her transparent eyes and decided lying would do her no good.

"Honestly, Minerva, I can't tell you. You'll find out start of next term." This did not satisfy, but Professor McGonagall merely raised and eyebrow and thinned her lips.

"Very well Gwen. I suppose…as a professor…you're entitled to your secrets. I'll see you in September." Gwen smiled sadly and nodded, then turned and flew to Dumbledore's office.

Unlike any other time she'd been there, the door stood open when she arrived. Suddenly very nervous and a bit embarrassed, Gwen bent her head and stepped into the Headmaster's study. Professor Dumbledore and Severus were already there; both stood when she entered.

"Welcome Guinevere," Dumbledore said with a twinkling smile. "I was just telling Severus how very pleased I was to see his new patronus. Unless I am very much mistaken—and that, my dear, is not very common—you have become a permanent part of this _healed_ man."

Gwen beamed at Dumbledore, then turned to look at Severus. He met her gaze steadily. There was no nervousness or embarrassment in his fathomless black eyes, and Gwen was filled with a reassuring warmth similar to hot butter beer. Severus offered his arm and she crossed the room to take it. The Headmaster came around his desk and stood facing them. His smile was paternal and benign as he placed a hand on each of their shoulders, as though completing a circle.

He then performed a marriage ceremony such as Guinevere had never heard. The vows were handcrafted to fit their peculiar situation and the counsel personal and insightful.

"Severus, I trust you did not forget the rings?" The groom reached into the folds of his robes and took Gwen's left hand. At Dumbledore's instruction, Severus slipped the band on his bride's petite finger. Up to this point, Gwen hadn't seen her wedding ring. The circlet that magically resized itself instantly was white gold and designed so that while the inside was smooth, the outside looked like a rope. Symbolizing, Gwen supposed, the binding of the two lives. Severus' was the same pattern in true gold.

"I am now pleased to pronounce you, in the eyes of we three and our absent company, man and wife." He leaned conspiratorially toward Severus, "I would imagine, at this point, you will want to kiss your bride." Severus smiled, genuinely smiled, first at Dumbledore and then at Gwen. He cupped her small, pale face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. Gwen could swear she saw a tear glimmering in Dumbledore's eye when they turned to him again.

"Well, that's that," he clapped his hands together, "Congratulations to you both. Before we say goodbye, though, I wonder if I may be permitted one question."

"Certainly, Headmaster," Gwen grinned.

"I've been told it was your wish that this be kept a secret, my dear. May I ask why?"

Gwen blushed, "Well, it's silly really; I just thought it would be an awfully fun surprise for the start of next term." Dumbledore chuckled and shook his head. Suddenly, Gwen stretched up on her toes and kissed the Headmaster's wrinkly cheek.

"Thank you so much, Professor Dumbledore," she reached out and took Severus' hand, "I wouldn't have wanted my life perfected by anyone but you, Sir."

"Thank you. And incidentally, I think 'Albus' will do among friends." Severus nodded his thanks to the Headmaster and led his wife to the door. Dumbledore waved them out, "Goodbye for now, Profesors Snape." And the door shut.

At Albus' parting words Severus laughed. A deep, ringing, mirthful sound worlds apart from the vindictive laughter of his past. Gwen looked up at him in wonder, then took his hand again and with laughter in her own eyes declared, "Severus, I'm quite ready to go home."

They made their way to the dungeons and Severus' office. "You are, I trust, familiar with floo powder?" he asked, taking a flower pot full of dust from a shelf.

"Somewhat," but Gwen was nervous to go alone to a place she'd never been and wouldn't recognize.

"Don't worry, I'll help you. Here, take a handful of powder." She did so, careful not to let it spill on the clean stone floor. Severus replaced the jar without taking any for himself and stepped into the large fireplace, beckoning her to join him. Hesitantly, Gwen got into the fireplace with him. He took her shoulders and positioned her to stand in front of him. He then put his arms securely around her waist from behind. "Now, throw down the powder and say 'Spinner's End'. Be clear."

Gwen, who was much more comfortable with the idea of going together than alone, dropped the powder to the floor and commanded, "Spinner's End!" A moment later Gwen was leaning back into her husband as though he was the antidote to the sensation of floo travel and Severus, in return, constricted his arms around her to ensure she didn't get too dizzy and accidentally fall out.

Just when Gwen was beginning to fear she'd be sick, Severus stepped out, practically dragging her along. Brushing off her robes, Gwen surveyed the living room. It was, first of all, covered in dust. There was a large armchair and a rather uncomfortable looking sofa in the dreary room and old books floor to ceiling on every wall. All in all, it showed promise.

She clapped her hands together, "Perfect!" Severus, who had been scrutinizing the same room with a hint of disgust, was taken aback. "Well, there'll be some cleaning up to do of course, but that what I'm here for isn't it?" she responded to his blank stare.

Severus wanted to protest that this was not why she'd been brought here, but he didn't have the chance. Gwen set to work immediately. In the middle of the living room was a pile of belongings; Gwen's things sent ahead from her old apartment. She whisked out her wand and levitated the two suitcases of clothes.

"Where's the bedroom, dear?" Severus led the way around the corner and down a small dark hall. There were three rooms in the tiny house. The living room, the kitchen—which connected to the living room—and the bathroom and bedroom down the dark hallway. Gwen set her suitcases to work putting her belongings in the closet and went to the kitchen.

"I suppose you have a feather duster?"

"Cupboard under the sink." Severus was following her around lamely, unsure of whether to stop her or just let her get on with it. The duster was a bit thin and ragged, but without a word Gwen pointed her little white wand at it and fluffed it up. Apparently pleased with the attention, the duster twirled in mid air before zooming around the house clearing the accumulation of all the school months.

"Make sure to get everything!" Gwen called to it. She then turned around and looked a bit surprised to see Severus behind her. "You needn't supervise, dear; I'm quite capable of housekeeping. Why don't you take off your cloak? I don't think you'll need it in here." Obediently he removed the billowing black cloak. Gwen snatched it from him and whisked it toward the front door. Severus, still dubious, continued to follow. Seeing no coat rack, Gwen drew one up out of thin air and hung both his cloak as well as her own from it. After glancing around for a moment, she rounded the house, parting curtains and throwing open windows that had remained shut for years. The moment she lifted the bedroom pane a light brown, white speckled owl soared through and landed on her shoulder.

"Eve!" Gwen crooned to the small bird. She turned a glowing smile on Severus, "She's a pearl-spotted. Small breed. I think the dots look like stars so I named her Evening."

"She must be a smart bird to have found you so quickly."

"You hear that Eve? I think he likes you." The bird ruffled her feathers importantly. "_Accio Eve's cage!"_ Into the bedroom from the sitting room zoomed the copper cage. She set it atop one of the nightstands, the opposite one had an owl cage already there—empty. Eve hooted happily and made herself at home while Gwen removed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt from the closet and laid them on the bed.

"Don't mind if I change do you?"

Severus didn't answer; he was looking at the outfit rather uncomfortably. Gwen pointed her wand at herself and then the set of clothing and instantly she was dressed in the casual jeans and her school robes lay on the bed. She hung them up and turned, a little hesitantly, to see her husbands face. He still wasn't speaking.

"They are awfully more comfortable than those heavy school robes. And after all, you know I'm muggle born, this is what I'm used to." She waited for his reply, her eyebrows drawn together and worry evident in her eyes.

Severus took but a moment to pull himself together. He took both her hands in his own and said very seriously, "I did not marry your robes Guinevere." Her entire form relaxed. He smiled a little and added, "But you'll forgive me if I continue in wizarding fashion?"

Gwen laughed, "But of course. You look so dashing; I wouldn't have it any other way." She winked. Guinevere Snape was, it can be quite comfortably assumed, the only being in the entire world who would apply that particular adjective to Severus Snape. They both knew this, and both were rather pleased by it. "Oh and by the way," Gwen said as she moved off toward the kitchen to cook supper (in muggle fashion) "I'm going to invite my sister, she really will be upset when she learns I've gone and been married without her approval, so be prepared."

Severus, who was remembering the boggart, made a mental note to reread some of his volumes on poisons.

Gwen, dressed in khaki slacks and a bright green button down, was curled into Severus' lap in the big armchair. He was absently rubbing her arm and she wore a completely vacant expression, as though she were in another world.

"Gwen," began Severus at length, "If you're so terrified of her, why did you invite her here?"

She snapped out of the reverie and raised an eyebrow, "Terrified? I'm not terrified of…Oh you mean the boggart! No, it's not _her_ that scares me, it's what she says. She always knows exactly what hurts the most. She used to assure me that no man could ever possibly love such an ugly redhead. I'm just a bit worried over what new thing she'll have to come up with." The empty look returned for but a moment before she smiled at her husband, "Since you proved her wrong so successfully." She kissed him in thanks. "And I have to have her over. She's my sister. My only family." There was a knock at the door. Gwen jumped up, Severus stood more slowly. "Maybe…would you want to wear your cloak?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Just, you know, to complete the look." She smiled deviously, thinking of how her sister hadn't ever really seen magic folk. Severus rolled his black eyes and donned his trademark, bat-like cloak while Gwen answered the door.

"Guinevere! How smashing to see you! And your looks have even improved a tiny bit! What an unexpected surprise. You are looking a mite bony though…and is that a bruise on your wrist? Oh do tell me you didn't get desperate and submit to some brute?! I worried you might. Well, we'll go through the law and get everything settled. Don't you fret." Throughout this speech Severus had listened to Gwen's attempts at contradiction, but she was always overridden by the forceful soprano voice. Clenching his jaw against anything rash, he moved into view. Patricia, who had been holding Gwen's shoulders, reeled back in shock at the sight of the man before her. Gwen took advantage of this one moment of silence.

"Like I've been trying to tell you Patty, he's not a brute at all. He's the most loving man I've ever had the privilege to know, and I'll thank you to stop insulting him." Patricia had a hand over her heart as though she feared cardiac arrest. She stared wild-eyed at Severus, who returned with a small smile. "Care to join us in the sitting room Pat? I daresay you're tired. It's quite a journey by muggle routes." She gingerly took her sister's arm and led her to the sofa, where the two sisters sat side by side. Severus, feeling the impression had been made, hung the cloak on the rack and took the armchair.

"Patricia, this is my husband Severus Snape. Severus, this is Patricia, my sister."

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Martin," Severus drawled

"You're one of them then?" said a horrified Patricia, "Them from that place?"

"Hogwarts, Patricia. Yes, we teach there. That's how we met. Severus actually started teaching there while I was still a student." At this, Patty straightened. She regained some composure and assumed a haughty look. Gwen bit her lip. The only thing that could give her sister that expression was a newfound fault in Gwen's life. There was an awkward pause as Patricia stared down her nose at Severus and Severus responded with a steely, steady gaze.

Gwen coughed; a tiny sound low in her throat, but Severus got the message. "May we offer you any refreshment?" he asked politely. "Perhaps a drink?"

"Yes thank you," Patricia answered at once. Severus didn't ask what she wanted. They had agreed that giving her the names of their household beverages would only confuse the poor lady. The pre-planned beverage was butter beer. Severus swept from the room, giving Gwen a meaningful look. He would hear what _Patty_ said, and he reserved the right to step in.

As soon as he was safely in the kitchen Patricia started in. "Oh it's worse than I thought. You've let that old man con you into doing something foolish. My dear, naïve girl, I'm certain he's just going along with your 'Hogwarts' rubbish. He probably has young wives like you stashed all over Britain. What reason could he possibly have for marrying you other than your youth? But it's all right. You were bound to meet desperation at some point and that nasty old villain just took advantage of you in your weakest moment. If you would only watch the news dear, you'd have recognized the tactics…"

"PATRICIA!!" Gwen roared. Her sister looked momentarily taken aback. "You will not," Gwen continued quickly, in a low, dead voice, "breathe another word against my husband in this house. You will no longer be at liberty to insult my appearance or intelligence and if you do not recant every word you have spoken here today I will banish you from this house."

"Don't be ridiculous you stupid girl. He's got you brainwashed. How many times has that ugly beast beaten you to make sure you'd speak that way to me? No, I will not stand for it. You were never stable enough to be left on your own, I've always said so. Now you've gone and gotten yourself attached to some monster and I'm going to have to pay the legalities to get you away from him because you've never been able to hold a decent job. And _don't_ point that pitiful twig at me, you idiot. Fairy tales do not frighten me." Gwen's wand hand was shaking and tears were glistening in her eyes.

"Get out of my house. Get out _now!_" Patricia did not look at all affected by Gwen's demand. Severus decided his time had come. He came from the kitchen, fingering his long wand lazily, and glanced at Patricia.

"I think my wife has made her feelings concerning you abundantly clear. If you leave now and swear never to return, I promise not to poison you."

"Well! I never! How dare you speak to me like that!"

Severus rolled his eyes and flicked his wand in her direction. Against her will, her legs began carrying her toward the door. Severus continued to speak to her as she craned her neck to look wildly at Gwen. "You are a spiteful, baleful, hopeless, heartless, brainless, jealous woman and I will not permit you to befoul this home again. I've taken the liberty of calling a…er…cab, so there's no need to wait around any longer." Patricia was so frightened and shocked she could say nothing; she just stared over her shoulder as Severus drew her little sister to him and held her firmly against him, as though protecting her from something, while keeping his wand trained on her. Gwen pointed her wand and the door to open it and then slammed it rather hard behind her sister's retreating back.

"Thank you Severus! I couldn't…wasn't strong enough…"

"It is not lack of strength that stops you from dealing too harshly with your family; it is an abundance of mercy. Being too merciful has, as you know, never been an issue for me." Gwen smiled weakly and buried her face in his chest, "I do thank you for not harming her though." He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back, but soon had to pull her away. He held her at arm's length and studied her with burning intensity, "Why are you so frightened? Did you, even for a moment, believe her?"

Gwen's eyes widened in shock and she rushed to answer, "No Severus! You mustn't even think it! It's just, she said such horrible things…and you in earshot…and after all you've lived through already…for me to subject you to that…"

An immensely relieved Severus Snape cut her off, "Now you listen to me." He lifted her to stand on the armchair. Hands on his shoulders to steady herself; Gwen gazed curiously down at her husband. "There is only one person in the world who could affect me with her words. And that one person is you. Know why? Because if the entire world attacked me with insults a hundred times worse than Patricia, I know that I'd still have you." He lowered his voice to nearly a whisper and concluded, "Everything in this entire world that is not you is merely a prop. You, Guinevere, are the only thing that matters to me; you are my _only_ reality."

Gwen felt as though she were slowly being electrocuted, the pulse within her was so tangible. She leaned down and kissed her husband. Then wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, jumped from the chair and swung her legs around him. Surprised by the ferocity of the attack, Severus staggered back a pace. But the embrace he returned lacked nothing in conviction or passion. Gwen thought she may suffocate, unable to breathe as she was, but decided she'd have to die sometime, and this would be her preferred way to go—especially with Severus' genuine, low chuckle vibrating through her.

The rest of the summer passed relatively uneventfully for the newlyweds. Having lived in such close proximity to each other for the better part of a year already, they were quite accustomed to one another, and only a very few meaningless tiffs arose between them. It took Severus some time to acclimate to Gwen's muggle-esque living style due to his unpleasant memories of his own muggle father. By turns, Gwen was a bit slow to adjust to several little wizarding habits and quirks, things that, growing up and living completely immersed in the muggle world, she'd never been exposed to. By the end of the summer however, things were moving along much more like clockwork. Perhaps the ease of their initial plunge into marital life was largely due to Severus' noted incredible capacity to love, and to overlook faults in the object of his affection. Or possibly it was owing to Guinevere's unbelievable relief and fathomless gratitude that her sister had been wrong, and someone could actually love her, which gave rise to truly unswerving loyalty and meekness toward her husband.

At any rate, it was a truly happily married couple that arrived at Hogwarts the morning of September the first. They were among the first to reach the castle, and spent much of the day in their own offices, preparing for the school year to begin. Gwen was busily removing some critters from her desk drawers when a glowing raccoon announced, "I thought you might be interested to know that I was just informed of Professor McGonagall's arrival."

Gwen beamed, "Thank you dearest! Won't you meet me in her office? Then we can tell her together." The pair scurried off, the raccoon to deliver her message and she to meet and old friend.

Three gentle raps on the door followed by, "Minerva?" were answered immediately.

"Oh Gwen! How was your summer? I must say I was a bit concerned for you that last day, you didn't seem yourself."

"I'm sorry about my secrecy. I _was_ a bit out of sorts that day. But I'm sure you'll understand when I explain…"

But she had lifted her hands and Minerva interrupted her, "Gwen! What's this? Are you engaged? Married? I must say you certainly are sedate about the matter. Most girls your age would be bouncing around like Peeves." Then she seemed to become enlightened all in an instant. "That's what it was wasn't it? That day? Do explain yourself!" Her eyes were at least ten years younger as she attempted to pry the information out of her former student.

As if on cue, Severus appeared in the open doorway and knocked softly. His expression was rather grave. Gwen wondered if he feared disapproval akin to Patricia's, but that was ridiculous. If Severus had anything like a friend…or at least a trusted acquaintance…in his adult life, it would have been Minerva McGonagall.

"Severus! Do you know anything about this?" She seized Gwen's hand to show him and Gwen held back a laugh. He stared hard at the ring on her finger for a long moment, an expectant silence hanging in the room. Then he looked at Gwen imploringly.

But Minerva needed no further assistance. "What?" she asked and then a great, "Good heavens!" She looked on in askance while Gwen went to Severus and raised _his_ left hand for her appraisal.

Minerva just stood there, staring, completely at a loss. The silence stretched on, but Gwen refused to continue as the only one making the effort here. Finally Severus seemed to gather his usually present nerve. He put his arm around Gwen and said, with not a little pride, "Minerva, I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Mrs. Guinevere Snape." For one more moment she stood frozen, mouthing the words 'Guinevere Snape', but then she collected herself.

"Well! Congratulations to the both of you. May I wish you every happiness."

Gwen beamed, "I wanted so badly to tell you, but I thought it would be such a fun surprise for the start of this term! Plus, think how confused the students will be when they see _two_ professors Snape on there schedules!"

"Yes," agreed Minerva wryly, "I'm sure that will cause quite a stir."

"I'm afraid I have to get back to my cleaning," Gwen said after a moment's more discussion of the term beginning, "but remember you're the first teacher we've told and we'd really like to keep the secret until after the first day of classes."

"I understand," Minerva nodded and smiled, though her expression seemed a bit forced. Severus nodded his goodbye and left with his wife.

"I must say that went well. She was quite surprised but then that's the whole fun isn't it?" Gwen said when they were out of earshot. Comfortable that they wouldn't run into anyone, they were strolling along arm in arm.

"Come now Gwen, don't tell me you missed her shock?"

"What do you mean?" She was looking up at him, tilting her head back due to his closeness, but he would not look at her.

"Couldn't you tell how very badly she wanted to ask me if you were under a love potion?" His words and manner were stiff.

"Oh Severus," she sighed, "Are you determined to find the worst in every situation? It's very unbecoming of you, after all."

Now he looked down at her, "And are you determined to overlook anything that fails to coincide with your rosy perception of the world?"

"Absolutely," she assured him. She raised her eyebrows and asked quietly, "Is that so unbecoming of me?"

He opened his mouth to retort, but couldn't seem to say what was on his mind and meet her eyes at the same time. Instead he turned to look straight ahead and replied, "No."

She grinned and patted his arm, "Good, then let's have no more talk of love potions. See you at the feast!" And they parted ways.

"Hey, they've made a mistake on my schedule! I've got Snape twice."

"It's just a double potion day."

"No it's not. Look: _Potions-Snape_ and _History of Magic-Snape_."

"What? What happened to Professor Martin?"

"Who's Martin?"

"Best teacher."

"She's young, but she makes the dullest subject easy to learn."

"And apparently, she's gone."

Such was the talk during breakfast the next morning. Among the nearly three hundred students at the school, not one of them suspected the truth. Rumors, however, ran rampant. Some said Professor Martin was in St. Mungo's, others swore they'd seen her at the feast, but soon began to question their own memories. The wildest stories suggested Snape had murdered the younger teacher, and, as would be expected, this explanation was the most widely circulated.

Severus' first class of the day was his N.E.W.T. students, none of which looked like they still wanted to take potions. Many of them hadn't even been Gwen's students, since they hadn't continued History of Magic into their N.E.W.T. years, but they could hardly have missed seeing her with all her zest and vigor at games and in the corridors. Martin was well liked by everyone and famous for her lack of favoritism, or, as she always called it, universal favoritism.

They lasted half way through the lesson in silence before finally a very scared looking Hufflepuff boy, Felix, spoke up. "You didn't kill her did you, sir?"

Everyone turned scrutinizing eyes on Snape, who looked, for the first time in their memories, completely lost.

"Excuse me Mr. Vers?" he asked, deathly quiet.

A Griffindor took up the baton. "Why would you want the History of Magic job, anyway, it's not like it's a really fascinating subject."

"Were you jealous of her because everyone liked her?" asked Beatrice, a Ravenclaw.

"Or did you just have something against her because she's so bright all the time?" continued the Griffindor, Walter Brimley.

"Silence!" Snape demanded.

"We won't be able to prove it," piped up Kori Hazel, a Slytherin, "He's much too clever for that."

Severus fixed the offender with such a glare she actually turned and tried to run for the door. "Stop where you are Miss Hazel." She didn't dare disobey. "Now," Snape said when she'd returned, shuddering, to her seat, "am I correct in assuming that this outburst is due to a belief that I have murdered someone?"

"P-p-professor Mart-t-tin," stuttered Felix, cowering under Snape's attention.

"I see." Snape's expression softened perceptibly. "And this…conclusion…is based on the fact that there are _two_ professors Snape on your schedules." It wasn't a question, but a statement. The students nodded, even more terrified by Snape's softened features.

"I realize, of course, that me murdering Professor Martin is the most likely cause for the surprising information on your schedules," Snape's voice dripped with disdainful sarcasm. "But you are, astonishingly, incorrect." He paused, seemed to brace himself, "Professor Martin is very much alive and was present at the feast, as you'd know if any of you were more observant than the cauldrons in front of you." Everyone stared around at each other, but he recaptured their attention instantly with his next phrase. "The reason History of Magic is listed beside a Professor Snape is because Professor Martin changed her surname to my own when she married me this past summer."

No one, absolutely _no one_ had expected that explanation. They stared in dumbfounded silence for what seemed like years. Severus was becoming more and more uncomfortable. Then Kori Hazel burst into tears. Snape curled his lip at her, but her face was buried in her hands and she didn't notice.

After just standing there looking uncharacteristically forlorn for several minutes more, Snape abruptly turned back to the board and continued teaching for the remainder of class as though there had been no interruption. His day hardly improved. Everyone in the school seemed to think he'd killed Gwen, and the later classes seemed to think his marrying her was a joke played by the other students.

Gwen's first class of the day was the third years. She entered the room from her office in high spirits, but was met by apprehensive faces. At once, however, the room was filled with joy at the sight of her.

"Oh thank goodness!"

"Our Schedules said…"

"What a prank!"

"Professor Martin, we're _so_ glad to see you!"

"Well thank you," she beamed around at them, "But I'm afraid I'm not Professor Martin anymore." She held up her left hand and wiggled her finger for all to see, "I'm Professor Snape now!"

There was a momentary shocked silence, and then the entire room erupted with laughter.

"You did that on purpose?"

"What a gag! How'd you get Dumbledore to go along with it?"

"Bloody brilliant!!!"

"Does Snape know?"

"You better watch out. He'll be after your blood when he finds out!"

Completely unable to regain control any other way, Gwen cast a silencing charm over the lot of them. She looked extremely put out. "I don't know what you mean. This is no joke! Check Professor Snape's finger, you'll find a matching ring. We are very happily married I'll have you know. And I won't tolerate any more of this unseemly behavior. Really…what a reaction!" She seemed genuinely surprised that the outburst had not been applause and heartfelt congratulations. The students—who'd been forcefully put in their place—maintained a horrified silence for the duration of the class. Gwen's day continued in the same vein, with the exception of the children who'd already been to Potions; they stormed in with a vengeance, demanding to hear Snape's lies revealed. In all, it was a very trying day for poor Gwen, all her expected fun was snatched away.

That evening, when she entered her and Severus' quarters near the Slytherin common room, her husband was already there, looking sour. She put on a bright face and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Evening dearest." She said, changing into her nightclothes. "Well, I must admit, the students didn't react to the news quite as I'd expected…"

Severus stood from the bed where he'd been sitting and cut her off, "Quite as you'd expected?" his voice was perfect silk, the very most dangerous. He grabbed the tops of Gwen's arms and held her there, forcing her to look at him. "They thought I'd murdered you!"

Gwen, who hadn't heard this, went slack jawed. "Wh-what?"

But Severus didn't listen, "That was easier for them to accept than the possibility that you had married me! Doesn't that suggest anything to you? Do you not question the advisability of this union?"

Now Gwen's jaw clenched, her eyes narrowed to green, cat-like slits. "Advisability?" she asked in a deadly voice. She placed both hands on Severus' chest and shoved him with all her might back into his sitting position on the bed. "Advisability," she repeated as she rounded the bed to climb onto the other side. He turned inward to face her, his expression completely unreadable.

"I dare say," she began, "that I fell in love with you, _darling_, long before you loved me. I had quite a long time to consider things like _advisability_. You didn't suppose I ever thought of the advisability of marrying a man whose lust for revenge outweighed most everything else in his life?" Severus seemed to be shrinking, but Gwen plowed on. "I assure you I considered the advisability of getting married so early in my career. And the issue of advisability certainly came up every time I looked in a mirror and noticed how young I was. I wondered often whether it was _advisable_ to marry a wizard at all when I'd always assumed I'd marry a muggle because that's how I live my private life." Her eyes narrowed still further and she continued with a furious calm, "You don't think a question ever arose in my young little brain concerning the _advisability_ of binding myself eternally to a man with the Dark Mark forever branded on his arm?" She pulled back his left sleeve and bared the symbol. Something like pain crossed Severus' features. "But perhaps," she mused, still quieter, "we're not talking about me. Severus, didn't you ever think about the advisability of marrying a muggle-born history freak fresh out of school?"

"Of course I…you're not…"

"Come now Severus. This is no time to stutter. You've never given a toad's eye about what students think before so there must be something heavier on your mind." Severus stared at the bedspread in silence. "All right then," Gwen said, lifting his chin, "I'll make it easy for you. Severus Snape, is it your desire to remain lawfully wedded to your current wife, Guinevere, in spite of any difficulty or ridicule you may be forced to endure?" She allowed her hand to drop from his face.

This simple, direct question seemed to steady Severus and he answered with a firm, "Yes."

Gwen's eyes glistened with a few gathering tears. As if to add punctuation to his assertion, Severus kissed her. A few tears spilled from her closed eyes and sparkled on his face as well as hers when they parted. Without looking away from him, she pointed her wand at the candles and darkened the room.

Laying back on her pillow and pulling the comforter over her she sighed, "I'm glad, because I would never have signed the divorce documents."


End file.
